give your kid fifteen dollars in change...

and you give yourself a break.
(30 minutes and still going strong)

somewhere between that near plane crash and the being held at gunpoint...

i found peace with death.
i wish everyone could have a better grasp of eternity and forever and ever.
i wish that people would make their lives easier on themselves.
i have been surrounded by thoughts of death and dying these last few months, these last years
and it brings me peace to be at peace.
i see those that struggle with it and struggle with the process, i wish they could feel the same peace.
i have to say, that being present during the process of dying, no matter how overwhelming, can be one of the most beautiful gifts this life could ever grant you.
like my little granny conley once said to me,
"if it wasn't hard, we'd never give these bodies up."
i love those words. they give me great comfort.
we're not meant to live forever in these vessels. we're meant to use them up, wear them out and have fun in the process.
my sister polly and i were talking about this the other day,
about how often those surrounding the dying find themselves drawn to laughter and reminiscing.
the journey has a middle, beginning and an end,
and one's life should never be defined by only one part of the journey.
life is the sum total.
the wrinkles, the battle scars, the shortsideness...they tell a story not easily forgotten.
i get very uncomfortable when i hear the phrase, "i didn't want to remember them like that"
it's our way of saying, "i don't have the courage to face mortality, theirs or mine."
it negates the value of the dying person - their needs, their wants, their comforts.
it leaves the dying alone when they need the most support, the most community.
so never curse the skies, the gods, the fates for the deaths brought into your life.
it doesn't mean that the death of a loved one doesn't tear you to pieces and leave you broken and shattered.
but never be surprised by the end.
and when the end comes sooner than you ever expected,
look for the little miracles in the living that was had,
for every life has a lesson, every soul a truth to tell.
and in the end, when you've made peace with the process, you'll realize that you've made peace with so much more in your life.

read this morning...

"Britney (Spears) brought the Circus to town, but probably not the way she was hoping to.

Fans have been complaining about the quality of the pop tart's performance Down Under, even walking out of her show in Perth, according to reports in the Australian media.

The cause? Disgruntled concertgoers apparently accused the pop tart of lip-syncing during the dance numbers, as well as giving a lackluster performance overall, according to the Daily Telegraph.

One story even claimed she was "boring."

John Mayer, who is in Australia promoting his album, joined the pile-on Sunday night, tweeting,

"If you're shocked that Britney was lip-synching at her concert and want your money back, life may continue to be hard for you."

well said, john, well said. ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...oh i laughed

the key...

i almost missed the opportunity to say goodbye to my aunt tamara.
in the midst of the "almost"
i thought to dig out some of her writings that she had sent me.
this is what i found:

"the key to my happiness is that i am pleased with the way that i have lived my life.
my ducks are in a row.
the people i love know that i love them and they know why i love them.
i told you that i was remarkable, but i haven't done anything really significant.
when they make the mini-series, the first part of my life will be very average.
the difference between my average life and others is that i've lived it.
i've experienced it, it hasn't rolled by on auto-pilot.
i've beat myself up over dumb decisions that i've made,
and i've let myself go off the deep end in complete silliness.
i have felt.
i have noticed how i've felt.
i can honestly say i have no regrets, no "if onlys".
i've enjoyed my life and the changing character roles that i've played."

she's actually sadder than she looks...

we're having hard times.

finally...

some halloween pics...





of, course we had to stop by papa and gramma's house...



and then we were on to elmer and lena's house. i'm always up for a good elmer-without-his-baseball-cap-sighting...



and then the little ones got brave and headed up to jose's house all by themselves. he rocks because he gives out cars and toys and not more stupid candy...



and last but not least, we headed over to great granny and grampa's house
(grampa had a surprise planned - he's actually made a small child urinate with that mask)
but not that night, everyone kept dry undies and got lots of candy...

i'm feeling insecure...

okay, i'm insane and currently insecure.
i finally started an etsy shop for the prints i've been designing.
go check it out (button to your left) and let me know what you think.
i'll have a whole bunch of new prints and christmas prints up by this weekend.
i test printed a few at 11x17 and they look amazing.
but i was curious what everyone thinks...let me know.
also, let me know if you want to stick a button on your blog -
you know, to spread the word (ie: free advertising)

ps: anyone who puts a button on their blog gets a free 8x10 poster
ps2: also, i have 8x10 currently listed, but really like 11x17 - is that a size anyone would buy? let me know what you think...or let me know other sizes you would like to see in the shop...

ps2: yeah or nay on the new header?